The Montreal Gluttoncation 2011

As we embarked for our weekend in Montreal, I proposed a deal with Chris Butcher. “I won’t say anything about you taking photos of everything we eat, if you don’t ask me to wait to eat, while you take your photos.” We made that deal, and like any good compromise, it left us both dissatisfied.

More importantly, while I didn’t complain about Butcher’s excessive phone use (at one point he was just playing video games at the table), I never promised not to take photos of him taking photos.

Unlike my previous, overly-documented, trip to Montreal, this one is going to be in point form. Here is what we ate, kept track of by my office-wife, Emma Segal, with a little commentary about what to miss or not miss in Montreal.

The notes are Emma’s. I’ll put my comments in italics and my favourite dishes in bold.

My one food photo, the sugar cubes at Lawrence.

Le Pick Up

http://depanneurlepickup.com/

A little corner joint where we had a not memorable lunch. Though we did bump into Chuck Ortiz there, and then again at dinner.

• ·      BBQ pork chops with bacon potato salad & green beans with almonds
• ·      A cheeseburger
• ·      Local beer

The awesome bathroom wallpaper at Lawrence.

You can't eat out in Montreal without seeing the trail of Sax.

DNA

http://www.dnarestaurant.com/

There is a wide disparity between the décor at DNA —the textures and colours a four-way collision between a 70s discotheque, a 90s high-end restaurant and two clubs — and the direct, powerful, honest flavours of its food.

They killed us with this tasting menu, the highlight being when they served one of each of their pastas and the six of us rapidly took a couple bites each, before passing each plate clockwise.

• ·      Charcuterie - all good except the weird liver one
• ·      Bread
• ·      A million pounds of foie gras - cold with that jam. Was it rhubarb or cherry compote? [It was a terrine, served with eggplant jam]
• ·      Salty bread sticks a foot long
• ·      Veal heart tartar with more foie gras mixed in
• ·      Pickled watermelon rind with pork belly (not crunchy enough) with a radish mint salad of some kind of top - delish
• ·      Sweetbreads, coated and fried and on top of some kind of puree, can't remember
• ·      Giant Burrata with heirloom tomatoes & basil
• ·      That wild mushroom dish on top of 'toast', aka a puffball - 8 different kinds I think?
• ·      Pastas:
• ·      A squiggly one with a chili/breadcrumb/olive oil sauce
• ·      Pappardelle with wild boar? Or pork? Some kind of meat. Lamb? Can't remember
• ·      Big ravioli with smoked bone marrow inside, foie, duck egg yolk, duck tongues, crispy chicken skin & ox eye daisy capers [This dish was absolutely bonkers. If you go, don’t sleep on it.]
• ·      Another pappardelle with those wild mushrooms again
• ·      Those little pasta shapes - cavatelli maybe? with spicy tomato sauce and veal meatballs
• ·      Ravioli - can't remember what was in those dudes
• ·      Grilled sardines with a sauce - whole
• ·      I think something else was on the table with the sardines, but can't remember what
• ·      Entire goat neck confit with homemade chorizo, manila clams, aioli
• ·      Gelatos: plum, cherry, blackberry, wild blueberry, concord grape
• ·      Desserts - chocolate mousse thing, apple pie thing, hazelnut tart thing, can't remember the rest
• Rosewater turkish delights

Montreal has the same garbage cans as Toronto.

Lawrence – skipped

http://lawrencerestaurant.com/

Well, she skipped Lawrence. I was enchanted with this place. At first, the menu seemed a little too traditional. But everything from biscuits to blood sausage was home made and even their coffee was good. Starting with beignet didn’t hurt.

The only thing that explains this photo in St. Viateur Bagels —heavily rouged woman and tuxedoed cat dining on candlelit bagels — is "it was the 80s".

In Montreal they have Jews.

Puppy in the window of Reservoir

Resevoir

http://www.reservoirlounge.com/

Reservoir was my favourite meal on the last trip and I look forward to returning again, but this time I was just picking at my food, wedged between to hard-hitting Saturday feasts.

• ·      Fish & Chips
• ·      Doughnuts with orange curd
• ·      Pork belly with little raviolis, some greens - very pretty and good
• ·      Something that had a poached egg in it, with bacon
• ·      Local beers
• Slowest service in existence

Distracted by these apple-shaped cupakes, we stepped into D Liche.

Though we had no appetite for them, I had the best cupcakes I've ever tasted. The right size as well; two bites.

Fred Morin, charming us at Joe Beef.

Joe Beef

http://joebeef.ca/

Co-owner Fred Morin charmed us into a gay mood, while the kitchen put us into a coma. Though the attention grabbing foie gras Double-Down signals modernity, most of the cuisine —chilled seafood, aspic, lobster carbonara —has a mid-20^th century vibe to it that feels nostalgic without being prescious; a memory of a food history only glimpsed in the colour-saturated pages of 1960’s cookbooks.

• ·      Those mystery oysters from PEI that are not malpeques
• ·      Cold seafood & vegetable platter with mayo [PERFECTLY cooked.]
• ·      Smoked eel croquettes [They served us eight and I really wanted to eat my share of two. But I knew what we were in store for so I held back.]
• ·      Plum cocktail, whatever you had to drinks, caesars with giant shrimp & oysters on top
• ·      Aspic ham & eggs with white truffle and green sauce of some kind
• ·      Double down foie gras death trap - two lobes, smoked cheddar & bacon
• ·      That homemade beer cheese with that homemade cracker thing [An arresting flavour, a spreadable mix of cheeses, including blue]
• ·      Veal 'shanks' actually breasts wrapped around bone with yellow & green beans with mashed potatoes
• ·      Lobster spaghetti
• ·      1981 Armagnac
• ·      "fruit & nut" bar - dense chocolate with dried cherries, wild blueberries & soft serve
• doughnut with soft serve in middle and poached or grilled peaches

At the end of the meal I went to thank Merin. “I want to know one thing,” he asked me, “where can I get one of these Toronto Elite t-shirts.” It’s in the mail (by which I mean, Canada Post will deliver it if and when they feel like it.

Chris, in bed, still on phone.

We didn't go to this restaurant. It looked so good.

Kazu, five minutes after opening.

Kazu

The underdog of this trip, worth waiting outside for it to open at noon on Sunday. We ordered at 12:05. I went to wash my hands and, returning to the table at 12:07, we already had a couple dishes. With the exception of some non-special ramen (weak broth, blubbery pork), everything was dynamite.

• 
  
• ·      Pork rillettes thingy with grilled flatbread, hot sauce, sesame seeds, some dark sweet sauce, green bits x2
• ·      Calcium salmon rillettes thingy, same but no hot sauce [What was special about this, salmon rillettes with grilled tortillas, was the bits of puffed rice scattered around the rim of the plate]
• ·      Ramen
• ·      Asparagus salad
• ·      48 hour pork on rice and vegetables
• ·      homemade soft tofu
• ·      green tea
• potato salad on the side

Andrew Wheeler, amusingly pretending he doesn't know how to eat soup.

We went to the museum to check out the Jean-Paul Gautier exhibit.

I will wear this...

... if you to wear this.

They didn't have lots of art.

But the art that they did have was good art.

Some of the art they had ...

... was the best art.

Also, they have art on the street.

I know our hotel was not good: first room didn't have enough beds; second smelled like fish; third like cigarettes.. I don't think the neighbourhood was good either.

Went for a Sunday morning walk, found shantytown a block away.

The derelict neighbourhood was a block from a muslim neighbourhood, which was a block from an affluent neighbourhood.

I found this bag of leftovers on the steps of a monastery. It was dated, timed and written in English AND French.

Montreal has cafes where you can buy the coffee you know from airplanes and crappy hotels.

Some joker went into the pharmacy and turned all the cough syrup bottles the wrong way. Hilarious.

At Atwater, we saw many amazing butchers shops featuring lots of terrines and rillettes. This one had portioned out foie gras.

Atwater market

Some macarons

Tomatoes for the road

These tiny ice cubes looked adorbs when she brought them. Then we tried to use them to chill a drink and realized how foolish they are.

Au Pied De Cochon

http://www.restaurantaupieddecochon.ca/

• ·      Foie bursty hot balls [She means the cromesquis]
• ·      Tomato tart
• ·      Plogue FTW [Agreed. On my third visit, the plogue is still my favourite dish: buckwheat pancake topped with pork, foie gras, potatoes, cheese and eggs cooked in maple syrup.]
• ·      Crab pie [Too much crust (as if anyone could ever have enough crab).]
• ·      Duck can
• ·      Boudin noir with apples & red cabbage
• ·      Crispy pigs feet salad
• Bourbon

Next time Chris sees me, he'll be all, do you really have a problem with how much I use my phone at the breakfast/lunch/dinner table? Yes, but we'd already made our bargain before reaching Montreal. So I couldn't kvetch about it on the trip.

And then we went home and slept in our own beds and died.

My last eating trip to Montreal